Lately, I have been sooo stressed out with life. With trying to balance school, work, my social life, and having personal things come up in my schedule, i've found myself over complicating things these last couple weeks.

Today while I was stressing about finishing a paper for one of my classes, I started listening to Casey Abrams..

For those of you who don't watch American Idol, Casey is a contestant that was on last year. He got pretty far. I want to say top 5. But, he is fantastic. I've actually met him. But, I was listening to some songs by him, and I came across one that I especially like. It's called "Simple Life"...

"Don't need no TV, I don't need no phone,

don't need a speedy car to get me home.
Don't need no nothing all I need is time - for the simple life.

Go get your butt out off that lazy couch, 

put down the laptop and get out of the house.

Don't need no nothing all I need is time - for the simple life."

I would highly recommend looking up this song and listening to it. It's fantastic. And you can't help but be in a good mood when you listen to Casey. He's brilliant and so fun to listen to. Truly a beautiful artist.

Purpose of this post? Cut out all the complicated stuff! SIMPLIFY your life!! Hold on to what you need, but stop worrying about all the extra things. Life is so much easier when you go back to the simple things and stop worrying about all the nitty gritty details. I promise it will be the best thin you'll ever do.

Spectator Sport..

Well, since it's been ages since I last posted, I decided that today i'd take a little break from my homework to write about what has been on my mind lately..

The other day, I was watching The Hunchback of Notre Dame (love my Disney movies) and of course, Disney taught me a lesson.

Poor Quasimodo, stuck in the bell tower and can't leave because his master won't let him. But besides that, Quasi is scared to leave because he has had it engraved into his head that he is worthless and ugly, and that the world is a dark and cruel place. As he is watching the Festival of Fools, Laverne (one of his gargoyle friends) says that ^^ to him.

Finally, Quasi decides to go to the festival.Yeah, it doesn't turn out great because he is mocked and hurt, but he gains a great friend. Esmeralda, and later on, Phoebus. If he hadn't have gone to the festival, that never would have happened. And he never would have gotten rid of his crazy mean master.

How many of us in our lives have had people tell us that we can't do something or that we aren't good enough and we let that hold us back? Or, how many of us have held ourselves back with thoughts like that, being overly critical of ourselves?

I know I have. For a long time, I had been afraid of doing things and being myself because I was afraid that people would judge me or make fun of me, so I just kept quiet and stayed in the background. But what I didn't realize until after high school is that I was watching my life go by without me.

Now that I have graduated, I have learned that I can't just sit back and watch everyone else live their lives while I wasn't living mine. I finally decided to do what I wanted and make my life what I wanted it to be. And I have never been happier with my life. You have to work at life. You have to take risks and do things you aren't comfortable with or you'll never be fully satisfied.

I hope that we all can take a little lesson from a simple little Disney quote and life our lives instead of watching from the sidelines. "Life is not a spectator sport."

Big Changes..

This week has been a week of big changes... But through these changes, I have learned some very valuable lessons..

On Wednesday, my best friend left for Utah State...

You never think it'll be that hard to say goodbye to your best friend when they'll only be an hour away. I kept saying to myself, "it wont be that much different. I'll be fine." I was wrong. Saying goodbye was so incredibly hard. It's hard to believe that my best friend, the one I have spent the last year and a half with, isn't here anymore. I can't just drive over to her house and tell her what happened that day. No more just sitting around talking. No more random laughing attacks. Now we're an hour away from each other. Yeah, we can still call and face time, but it's just not the same. Sometimes you just need your best friend. But with Jenny leaving, I have learned some things about true friends.

1- A true friend will accept you for who you are no matter what. And they will love you no matter what.

2- A true friend won't want to change you. Jenny told me, "I like you for who you are, so you better not ever change." That's exactly how friendship should be. Total acceptance for every part of them.

3- "True friendship isn't about being inseparable. It's about being separated and nothing changes." If someone is a true friend, they will make an effort to be in your life, no matter how far apart you are.

I am so grateful for my best friend. And even though we aren't going to see each other nearly as much, I know i'll always have my best friend just a phone call away whenever I need her. Thanks for the memories Ginger! I can't wait for all the memories we still have to make! Thanks for being my best friend. I love you Ginger.


The second thing i've learned this week is not all guys are the same...

Since Jenny left this week, I have spent more time with Zach, and I know now that even though i've have been treated really badly by guys in the past, not all of them are like that. Not all of them will treat you the same. There are some amazing guys out there. I know that no matter who you are, there is someone out there that will be able to see past all of your flaws and imperfections and still like you for who you are. They will be able to see all the good in you that you can't see yourself. I know I have always pointed out all of my imperfections and I felt like that's all other people could see, but Zach looks past those and see's who I really am. And I am so grateful to him for that and for bringing out the best in me.


The last thing I've learned this week is that family is the most important thing in the world...

Today was my cousin Jared's mission farewell...

Growing up, Jared lived 7 hours away in Vegas and I didn't get to see him very much. So when he moved to Utah just before our sophomore year, I really learned to appreciate him. We got really close in high school. At least I felt like we were. With him dating my best friend, I was with him multiple times a week, and i'd see him every day in school. I'd go to all of his wrestling matches and baseball games. Jared has seen me go through pretty much everything. He has seen me at my highest when I dated his best friend, and he's seen me at my lowest when that same guy broke my heart. I've also seen him go through his good and bad times. We got baptized together when we were 8. He was there all through high school and I always considered him as my best friend. Senior year, we started to drift apart, and since we graduated, we've grown apart even more. But I don't love him any less. I really wish I could see him more than I do. I miss that closeness with my cousin. Even though we aren't as close anymore, it doesn't make sending him off on his mission any easier. I can't believe I have to go 2 years without seeing him. No more seeing him every Tuesday for softball. Not having him around to pick on me. Just not having him here. Jared has changed my life. He has taught me things through his example and I am so grateful for that. The people of Chihuahua, Mexico are so lucky to have such an amazing missionary coming to their area. Thanks for everything Jared. Good luck! I love you.

So I guess this week, through all of these things, the biggest thing I have learned is to fine people that love you for you and keep them close. Don't take the ones you love for granted. Because you never know when something could come along and separate you. Whether it's for a few weeks or a few years.

What is happiness?

I've been thinking a lot about happiness today.

What is happiness?

To some people, happiness is a new pair of shoes or a new outfit. Others it's being successful in a career they love. Happiness seems to spread across such a broad range that I think many of us sometimes struggle in finding true happiness. I feel like in our world today, there are so many things that make us unhappy that it's sometimes hard to be completely happy. We lose people in our lives, we fail, sometimes we get made fun of or excluded, we get knocked down. How can you be happy when things like that happen?

One of my favorite quotes is:

I think the reason so many people are so unhappy is because they think that before they can be happy, everything has to be perfect. It's like our brains are programed to think "When I have the best of everything and everything goes perfect, then i'll be happy." This is wrong! Nothing is ever going to be perfect. It's a fact of life. We need to find happiness in every day. In the little things.

In high school, I had a hard time with this. I always felt like happiness came from things around me. Friends, boys, clothes, things like that. I felt like if things didn't go exactly right, then I couldn't be happy and i'd be so upset about it. If things weren't perfect, I wasn't completely happy. In my life, I've come to find that happiness is something you get form yourself. Everything else just enhances that happiness that you have already.

I can honestly say I am truly happy with my life. I have learned to accept myself exactly the way I am. And to be completely honest, I'm happy with who I am. I don't have everything I want.  But I have what I need and i'm perfectly happy with that. There's things about my life that I would like to be different, but you have to accept those things. I have an amazing family, I have found incredible friends who accept me and love me for who I am, i've found things in my life that i'm truly passionate about. Yes, things go wrong. Things don't always work out like I want and I don't always get what I want. But you can't let the setbacks hinder your happiness.

Happiness is a choice. Why not choose to be happy?

Happily Ever After..

Well, since it's been about a thousand years since I last updated my blog, I guess i'll post about something that's been on my mind today..

I just finished watching probably the greatest movie EVER created (Tangled, of course), and like all Disney movies, it ends with the line...

Today when I got home from church, I got into my desk drawer and pulled out my book Your Happily Ever After by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. It is an amazing book! It is directed towards the Young Women in the church. It is amazing! Since I read that, the idea of happily ever after has been on my mind. How many of us dream of a happily ever after? Pretty much everybody. Especially if your a sucker for Disney movies (guilty..). I think it's every girls dream to live happily ever after with a knight in shining armor just like in the movies. I know that's my dream, except without the shinning armor part. A nice guy in old blue jeans will do just fine for me. But in President Uchtdorf's book, he says, "Heavenly Father offers to you the greatest gift of all-eternal life-and the opportunity and infinite blessing of your own 'happily ever after.'" Now, if you're anything like me, those words offer so much comfort. I have always been worried about not getting married and all that, especially since I graduated and have seen so many people from my graduating class, including one of my best friends, get married. I went through a time when I thought to myself...

"Why don't I have someone like that? What's wrong with me?"

Absolutely nothing is wrong with me. It's just not my time and I know that now. I have to wait for the right guy to come around. Maybe I already know him and I just don't know it yet. Who knows? President Uchtdorf refers to the stories of Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, and  Rumpelstiltskin when he says that, "In each of these stories, Cinderella, Belle, and the miller's daughter have to experience sadness and trials before they can reach their 'happily ever after.'"

You have to meet people in order to find out what you like and don't like. What qualities you like in someone and which qualities you'd rather steer away from. Most of us experience heartbreak before we find the one we're going to be with. That's part of life. We're supposed to get hurt, because it teaches us lessons. It's there for our benefit, even though at the time it seems so hard. I know that I've had my share of heartbreak and I've gone through things that have brought me that much closer to my happily ever after. In this book, President Uchtdorf describes how he loved a girl since the moment he met her, but she wasn't interested in him. After years and years of pursuing her, she finally became interested in him and they were married shortly after.

That's another thing you have to remember when pursuing your happily ever after. If you truly care about someone, you can't just give up. Persistence is key. Yes, here is another reference to Pinterest, but I found this quote on there and I think it is so true...

"If you love someone, tell them. Forget about the rules or the fear of looking ridiculous. What is truly ridiculous is passing up on an opportunity to tell someone that your heart is invested in them."

How true that is. But I feel like in today's society, people are too afraid to tell people how they feel. They don't pursue people that they truly care about because they feel like they aren't good enough or may be rejected or hurt. Things have become so casual now that people just 'hang out' and never go on dates anymore. Yeah, hanging out isn't bad or anything, but to get to know people on a more personal level, dates are perfect! If you are interested in someone, you need to go on dates with them and let them know that you are interested in them. That's my opinion at least.

My favorite thing that President Uchtdorf says in his book is..

 "Your own wondrous story has already begun. Your once upon a time is now."

So, live for today. Look for the one that you can live happily ever after with. It is something that all of us can have. I know that if I truly care about someone, I am going to do everything I can to see him and be with him and I will make an effort to talk to him and spend time with him. I won't give up. Happily ever after isn't just for fairytales. I challenge all of you to make your own happily ever after, and if you find someone you truly love, don't let them go.

Just remember..

-Finding Myself-

These past few weeks, I have had a lot of time to myself and it's got me thinking:

Why am I letting other people control my happiness?

One of my favorite quotes is: "Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket."

I have always done that. I thought that in order to be happy, I needed to have lots of friends and a boyfriend and always be hanging out. That isn't true. Now that all of my friends are married, have boyfriends, or are going on missions, I never hang out anymore. And I guess I should be grateful for that because that's what has lead me to finding out who I am. I don't need a boyfriend to make me happy. Maybe someday i'll find someone to spend the rest of my life with. But I can't let being single get me down. Just because I don't go hang out with friends anymore doesn't mean I can't be happy. I define my happiness, not anybody else.

In the time I have had to be by myself, I have just finished up a shoot and scheduled two more for May. I've realized that photography is what I am truly passionate about. It means so much to me. My uncle told me to keep doing photography and to keep expanding, and that's what i'm gonna do. I'm not gonna let slow times get me down. I am going to be a more confident photographer. I'm going to take charge more and make sure that the pictures turn out as good as they possibly can. I hope more than anything that I can get a wedding to do. Why would I give up on something I love more than anything?

In the past, my low self-esteem has held me back and made me unhappy. I was so concerned about what other people thought of me, when it really shouldn't run my life. I am me. I'm completely insane, i'm determined, passionate, curious, shy when I don't know people, loud when you do know me. I'm a car lover. A sports fanatic. A history buff. A movie critic. My own personal DJ. My makeup isn't always perfect, my hair doesn't always stay in place. I don't have the nicest clothes ever. I snort when I laugh. I know my flaws. I am not perfect. But i'm here to be me, not someone else. I'm determined to still be me but better myself so that I talk less and listen more. So I don't judge. So I can be a shoulder to cry on. A friend to laugh with. An advice giver. To be more outgoing and more loving. More kind. But still be me. I will find people who want to be around me because of who I am. I just have to try.

So that's my feelings for today. I'm not changing for anyone. I'm not gonna let other people get me down. I know who I am. And I know what I want. I'm determined to progress in my photography, gain friends that accept me for who I am, and hopefully find someone to be with eventually.

I know exactly who I am. Do you?

Tagged..!!

1. share the rules.

2. post a photo & 11 random facts about yourself.

11 facts about me-


1- My biggest passion in life is photography.
     2- I am going to college to become a history teacher. Preferably U.S.
  3- I am deathly afraid of heights, tight spaces, clowns, and sharks.
       4- I love people with accents: Southern, Australian, British, whatever.
 5- I snort when I laugh.
         6- I want to marry a cowboy.
    7- I love playing and watching softball/baseball.
8- I dream of going to Paris someday.
       9- I try to be happy at all times and love my life.
 10- I have a 3 page bucket list that I plan on finishing.
     11- I'm a big time clutz.

3. answer the questions asked of you.

1-top 5 people you're closest to. and why.

-My mom. I have always been a momma's girl and I love her so much. She is the best mom ever.

-My sister Brooke. Now that she got married, I love every time we do something together. 

-Jenny. She is my best friend.

-Tyler. He is my other best friend. 

-My Heavenly Father. I strive to have a very close and personal relationship with my father in heaven and I wouldn't have it any other way. He knows me better than anybody ever has or will.

2-biggest pet peeve. and why.

Oh no, when people say "i'm not laughing at you i'm laughing with you." well. I'm not laughing so let me know how that one works out for you point dexter.

3-which of the five senses you couldn't live without. and why.

My sight. Wanting to be a photographer, I heavily rely on my sight. I would go completely crazy if I couldn't take  pictures.

4-what you wish you could change about your current circumstance. and how you are going to change it.

I wish I wasn't hurting so badly for money. I have to pay for my car and i'll have to pay for tuition soon and i'm having a hard time coming up with the money, so I will work as much as I can this summer and continue to pay a full tithe.

5-favorite band. favorite artist. favorite song. and how each of them make you feel.

My favorite band would have to be Lady Antebellum. They are amazing and I just love how they sound together. My favorite artist is by far Keith Urban. He is fantastic! I know this may sound a little weird, but I get really excited when I listen to him. My favorite song is "Making Memories of Us" by Keith Urban. Of course. I couldn't listen to that song for a long time because of who it was linked to and it made me cry, but now when I listen to it I just feel extremely calm and I love it.

6-honest opinion of how you view yourself.

Honestly, there are quite a few things I would like to change about myself physically. Let's just say I don't exactly have the highest self esteem ever, but I have learned that I need to love myself the way I am and I can say that I accept myself more now than I used to.

7-one talent you wish you had. and why.

I wish I could sing and or play the piano. I never took piano lessons and I hear these people playing beautiful songs on the piano and I wish I could do that as well. I also wish I could sing cause i'm pretty sure I make dogs howl when I sing in my car.

8-dream future spouse characteristics.

He has to be able to make me laugh. He has to treat me with respect and not tear me down. He has to be a worthy priesthood holder that can take me to the temple. He has to be good with kids and he has to have a testimony of the church. Physical looks aren't important to me except that he has to be taller than me. But if I had my choice, he would have dark hair, tan skin, dark brown or blue eyes and he would be built. Not too muscular, just enough.

9-best compliment you've ever received.

That I am beautiful. It's something I never really believe when I look at myself so when someone tells you that it makes you feel good.

10-when you realized who you were. and what your purpose was.

Actually this just barely happened a couple of months ago when I received my patriarchal blessing. It's amazing what Heavenly Father's opinion of you can do for you. I now know why I am here and what I am supposed to do and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

11-list of 7 things you are most grateful for. and why.

1-My family. I would never be able to get by without them and I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for their examples in my life.

2-The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It guides my every action in my life. I would be so lost without the knowledge and reassurance that it gives me

3-The amazing friends I have been blessed with. They are a huge reason I am the way I am now and I really wouldn't be able to get by without them.

4-My job. Even though I get really frustrated with it at times, I am so grateful to have  a steady job in an economy where so many people don't have that stability.

5-My home and everything that my parents provide me with so that I can live comfortably.

6-The chance I have to go to college to get a degree in something that I actually want to do when I graduate.

7-I'm grateful to be me.